


Find Your Peace

by 2livenlove



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Finnlo Fest, Force-Sensitive Finn, M/M, POV Multiple, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 03:05:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11614578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2livenlove/pseuds/2livenlove
Summary: Prompt: The incident on Jakku tipped Kylo off to FN's force-sensitivity, so he takes FN under his wing to become a knight of Ren. However, FN is still too [com]passionate and sways Kylo away from the dark side and they rescue Poe together.





	Find Your Peace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [niksthename](https://archiveofourown.org/users/niksthename/gifts).



> **Prompt:**  
>  The incident on Jakku tipped Kylo off to FN's force-sensitivity, so he takes FN under his wing to become a knight of Ren. However, FN is still too [com]passionate and sways Kylo away from the dark side and they rescue Poe together.
> 
> Special Thanks to my Beta: Sunlightonwater
> 
> Title is inspired by 'Praying' by Kesha.

Kylo feels triumphant as he strides back to his ship. Finally, after searching for so long, they’re close to finding his uncle and putting an end to the Jedi. Only the rebel pilot, stands in his way. A small insignificant obstacle, he already feels victorious.

He pauses suddenly, when he senses a strong presence in the force. He looks toward it, to find a lone trooper with three bloody lines smeared down their helmet. They’re standing, seemingly frozen, by the center of the village. He can sense the fear and doubt the trooper feels very clearly. Impossible he thinks, bewildered, the trooper is undeniably strong with the force. Kylo stares at him for a moment wondering how such a person has gone undetected for so long. 

He turns away, marveling at this new discovery. He is certain none of his current knights have a strong affinity with the force like this one foot soldier. This trooper possibly even rivaled himself. Kylo smiles, this trooper would be an asset to the order, to the knights, and most importantly, he’d be an asset to his master. He must be trained.

Once back aboard the finalizer, he sends the rebel pilot off for interrogation. They will drag the information they need from him one way or another, of that he is certain. Satisfied, he summons Phasma who appears fairly quickly.

"One of your troopers,” he begins, “The squad leader I believe, send them to me at once. I want that Stormtrooper reassigned to my division." Hux will be annoyed he hadn’t consulted him prior to making such demands. The man can be particular about his soldiers. He will work out the politics of the move later with the general.

She pauses and he can feel her pride as she replies, "The squad leader is FN-2187. He is my most promising trooper. I can understand why you took an interest in him, his skills are exceptional.” She turns to leave, “I will send him to your division immediately."

Kylo smiles beneath his mask, "Good."

He goes to his quarters on the Finalizer and looks for more data on FN-2187. Just as Phasma had said, his scores were impeccable. He remembers suddenly that Hux had boasted about this trooper to him prior. At the time, he didn’t have any interest in Hux’s boasting about this seemingly unremarkable Stormtrooper. But maybe he should have, it was apparent he was unknowingly utilizing the force. The only flaw noted in his file, was his compassion and care for his subordinates. 

Kylo considers that to be a minor flaw, one that could easily be broken out of him. Kylo wondered if the stormtrooper was even aware of his own awakening, if he knew the power he could wield. The more he thought about it, the more the idea appealed to him. Kylo grins, what a great knight this man could be, the lights flicker and a small table shutters as his enthusiasm mounts. He couldn’t wait to train him.

Kylo sends a request to Snoke for a meeting; he wanted to tell him about this promising new recruit as soon as possible. Just as he finishes placing his request, the trooper appears at his quarters.

 

* * *

  

"Come in, FN-2187."

"Sir." He says respectfully as he trained to do.

87 has been feeling anxious since his return to the Finalizer following his assignment on Jakku. He panicked in the middle of a battle when he came face to face with the harsh brutalities the order committed. After witnessing the murder of all those people, he was positive he could not kill innocents if they ordered him to, he could not blindly follow orders as a Stormtrooper was expected to do.

But where exactly did that leave him? He didn’t exactly have any options. It wasn’t like he could leave the order. He barely had any time to consider what to do before Phasma appeared and sent him to report to Kylo Ren. She told him he was being reassigned. But why?

He looks carefully at Kylo Ren, the man was silently staring at him. With the mask it was impossible to gauge his mood, but he knew somehow the man was measuring him up. Back on the surface of Jakku, Kylo had noticed him. What he’d seen in him, he wasn’t sure. But whatever it was, it was enough to have the man summon him here now. He wondered briefly if Kylo could read minds, that’s what the rumors said anyway.

"Do you know why I've called you here?"

"No, sir." He replies immediately. But he felt uneasy, could he know his thoughts? His feelings? Did he know 87 didn’t want to be a part of the order any longer?

"On Jakku…” he pauses, tilting his head slightly, 87 found the mask to be unsettling. So, he avoided looking at it directly, “Did you feel a change? Or rather, do you feel any different right now than you did before going to Jakku?”

87 gulps, feeling panic rise in his chest, He must know 87 has become disloyal, “I-“ he tries, but his throat feels like it's closing up and he finds he’s struggling to breathe. His breath coming out in short pants, he can feel his heart pounding in his chest.

Kylo moves towards him and 87 quickly steps back feeling terrified. Kylo stops at his reaction, he is still for a moment before reaching up to release the catches on his mask and removes it from his head. Beneath the mask, there was no monster as he feared, he is just a man. With dark hair and equally dark eyes.

“87, remove your helmet.” He commands, his voice is surprisingly soft.

Clumsily he complies, taking his helmet off, he feels marginally better without it. Kylo takes 87’s hand suddenly, placing it on his broad chest, he looks at 87 with concern.

“It’s alright. Just breathe. Breathe with me.” He soothes, and takes a deep breath rubbing 87’s hand gently with his thumb. 87 tries to copy him, slowing down his breathing to match Kylo’s.

“Good, just like that.” Kylo encourages, still taking deliberate, long breathes for 87 to mimic.They stay like this for a while until 87 feels more at ease, his breathing returns to normal.

87 feels ashamed at his outburst, he didn’t know the word for what happened to him, but it had been scary. That Kylo had helped him at all  was strange to him. It was hard to believe that the man in front of him, who had patiently helped him through his panic, was the same man who ordered the deaths of all those innocent villagers on Jakku.

He stares at Kylo with uncertainty, “I’m sorry” he mumbles, “That’s never happened to me before.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Kylo sighs, “My mother used to-“ he stops himself abruptly, eyes widening. He obviously hadn’t meant to disclose that to 87. He coughs, stepping back from him, “Never mind.” He grumbles.

Unsure of what to make of that, 87 takes up his helmet again.

“You won’t need that again.” Kylo says gesturing to the helmet, “You’re not a Stormtrooper anymore. From now on, you'll be under my command as my apprentice."

"Apprentice?" He asks astonished.

Kylo gazes at him, his stare intense. “I’m going to train you to become a Knight of Ren.”

“Me?” 87 asks in utter disbelief, “Why?” He feels especially bold questioning a high-ranking member of the order.

“Do you feel it?” He asks, being somewhat cryptic.

87 frowns, “Feel what?”

“The force. Its presence all around you, you must have always sensed it was there, guiding you.”

87 considers this, he has always been able to feel things, sense things he shouldn’t be able to, but he’d never thought too much into it. “Maybe”, he concedes.

“There is power in you, a great power. I can teach you to control it and you can join me in serving a greater purpose.”

87 feels repelled by the idea of becoming a harbinger of fear and darkness as Kylo was. Before he could voice his dissent, Kylo speaks again, “I know it may seem daunting, we can start slow. I’ll show you just the basics.”

“I don’t know if I can be a knight. I don’t…” he gulps, “I don’t like to cause unnecessary pain or death.”

“You won’t have to, 87.”

“But-“ 87 tries, but Kylo shakes his head at him.

“You would rather stay a Stormtrooper? I know you don’t, I sensed your dissatisfaction. You wanted to be anything but a faceless soldier. As my apprentice, you’ll be revered and respected wherever you go. Once you are knighted, we’ll even give you a proper name.”

87 holds his tongue and nods. Kylo misunderstood him, he didn’t want to be a Stormtrooper or anything related to the order for that matter, but he was worried Kylo will lose his patience if he pushes that point. Besides, what purpose would that serve? Only to get himself promptly cut down like that old man.

 

* * *

 

Rey squints at the sky and peers down at the droid accompanying her. “Don’t worry, BB8.” she assures it, “We’ll have to be patient. I’m sure your master will return soon.” It has been three days since she rescued the little droid from Teedo. BB8 reminded her so much of her younger self, anxiously looking out for her family every day. Even now she is still waiting for them, they’ve been delayed, but she still knew they would return for her.

Rey and BB8 head out to find any salvageable parts that were left in the desert. Having the droid with her has been surprisingly welcome. It helped her whenever it could, and it was nice to have someone to talk to and go home with. After years of solitude, she was grateful for the company.

Every morning before she started her rounds, and again in the afternoon they would go to Niima outpost to see if BB8’s master had coming looking for it. She hoped the droid wouldn’t have to wait as long as she has.

 

* * *

 

Kylo mulls over his new apprentice, 87. He is surprisingly difficult, and not in the traditional sense. He learned quickly, understanding the basics of the force quite easily and even manipulating it to a degree. He was pleased, especially since it had only been a few days. His saber training went without issue as well.

But he questioned nearly everything, their purpose, their methods and tactics. It was to the point where even he felt inclined to question his life choices in a way he hadn’t before. 87 is a compassionate man, he cared deeply for others and as such he wondered about their impact on other beings. If what the Order was trying to accomplish even helped anyone besides those directly in it. As he had stated prior, he didn’t want to hurt people unnecessarily.

His reasoning was practically alien to Kylo who has always seen himself as being above others, and therefore never cared to think on how they suffered. He only focused on himself and he was destined for greatness, while everyone else was insignificant, just little specks in the vast galaxy. After all, it was he who came from a strong bloodline, he was powerful, he deserved respect, and wanted others to bow before him. But now he felt guilty for ever thinking this way. All thanks to a kind, handsome man, with deep brown eyes that seemed to peer into his very soul.

Kylo didn’t like feeling doubt. Not in his convictions, where he’d thought he would never falter, yet here he was. The strangest of all these new feelings, were the ones he felt directly for FN-2187. Despite his obvious treasonous thoughts, Kylo very much enjoyed being around 87. He was so full of life, which was so uncommon in the people he encountered. He didn’t think there could be a person like 87 in the whole galaxy; he wanted to be close to him, to protect him even.

He could sense 87’s increasing discontent with the First Order. He knew 87 would eventually try to defect, and Kylo wasn’t certain he would stop him at this point.

 

* * *

 

“Are you having difficulty with your new apprentice, Kylo Ren?” Snoke rasps from high above him, Kylo peers up at him apprehensively. He was dreading this meeting with his master. He had tried concealing his apprentice’s ornery disposition, but Snoke had pulled the truth from him.

“He is strong willed, I have no doubt that with time I can convince him to accept our ways.”

“This man, this Stormtrooper, if he is as powerful as you say, bring him to me.”

No. Kylo couldn’t do that, he was too invested in 87, if Snoke got to him, he would use the dark secrets of the force to change him forever. Kylo couldn’t live with himself if he allowed Snoke to corrupt such a kind, and compassionate person, but he couldn’t disobey his master.

He bowed his head respectfully, “Very well, Master.”

 

* * *

 

“Did you get the location of the map?” Kylo demanded once he found the general. Snoke had inquired about it and he had gotten a scolding for not having gotten it yet.

Hux purses his lips distastefully, “Not yet, but they will have it soon.” He scowls.

“What’s taking so long?” he snapped, his anger rising, “You assured me you could get the map? Are your precious tactics failing you?”

Hux glares at him angrily, “As much as I hate to admit the failings of my men, I have to concede that we’ve done all we can. The pilot is still stubbornly silent.” he growls, “Isn’t there a way you can use your...space magic to get the information we need from that rebel scum?”

 Kylo stares at him, fisting his hands at his side, “I don’t know why I even entrusted such an important task to you, General.” Hux shoots him a scathing glare.

 “Well?” he snaps, “Can you do it or not?”

“Of course I can. Wait here, I will have the information in minutes” Kylo deliberately turns to the interrogation room, he hears Hux scoff and ignores it.

They’ve had the pilot for a week, a full week of torture. He felt pity for the man and quickly squashed it. He couldn’t afford to feel any concern for his enemy. The man, Poe, will be tired and thus Kylo’s mind probe would be effective. Poe would be powerless to protect his mind from revealing the location of the map they so desperately sought.

That map would lead to Luke Skywalker, his old master. Kylo would go to wherever it leads, and kill him. That’s what this was all about: ending the Jedi. He still thought about the night he attacked his uncle’s Jedi Temple, where he had effectively brought the Jedi back to the brink of extinction. Luke was all that was left.

He wondered suddenly about his mother, Luke’s death would cause her more pain, and he’s caused her so much pain already. Guilt gnawed at him as he thought of her. He pushes those thoughts from his head as he enters the interrogation room.

 

* * *

 

Poe has been through hell; that he can say with confidence. His time with the First Order has definitely been a test to his will, but he’s managed so far to reveal nothing to them. He was acutely aware he was disposable; as soon as he gave them the location of the map they would kill him. Though death would be a welcome relief from the torture, he reminded himself the pain was only temporary and he can handle it. He accepted the fact that no one was coming for him, and he will be killed eventually, but he would gladly die protecting the secrets of the resistance, his general’s precious brother, and his loyal BB8.

The cell doors open suddenly, and Poe feels dread in anticipation of yet another round of useless questioning and pain. He hoped they do without the interrogation droid this time. He doesn’t think he could take it right now.

“So you’re the infamous, Poe Dameron?” A distorted voice asks.

So the knight himself has come to have a go at him. Poe smiles tightly, “So, you’ve heard of me?”

“I must say, I’m impressed. You’ve managed to resist a whole week. Not an easy feat, I’m sure.” Poe refuses to look at the masked man, “But playtime is over, So you will tell me, where did you put the map?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Poe sighs, he really is tired of the same questions asked over and over.

“If you won’t tell me yourself, I’ll just take it.” Poe narrows his eyes at that, staring at the Knight who outstretches his hand in front of Poe’s face.

He feels it suddenly, a strong, imposing pressure in his mind, pulling at his thoughts. Poe feels panicked, he isn’t even sure how to resist but he tries anyway.

“Where is it?” Kylo demands, Poe tries to think of something else and not what he’s asking. He thinks of his general and berates himself, no one is supposed to know she’s with the resistance.

All at once the presence is gone and Kylo steps back from him. Poe blinks, surprised. The knight stands there motionless for a long moment before he abruptly leaves the room.

“The hell?” Poe asks to no one in particular.

 

* * *

 

87 dresses quickly in the Stormtrooper armor he stole. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to leave. All his life, the First Order has been the controlling body of his life, dictating how he should feel, how he should act, what he would be doing, and how he would do it. He wanted to escape, be his own person, and not be a part of this system that has no regard for the lives it destroys. If he stayed it was going to ruin him, he believed that strongly. He knew he couldn’t be a knight like Kylo.

He steps out of the empty supply closet and does what he had been raised to do: be a Stormtrooper. He walks purposefully towards the prison bay. They still had that rebel pilot on board, hopefully he was not too badly damaged and could fly them both to safety. If he could save just one person from the Order he will.

He’s nearly there when he spots Kylo. He’s speaking to the general just outside the rebel pilot’s cell. He quickly reroutes himself away, but not before Kylo notices him. The man says something to Hux and quickly walks towards him. Hux scoffs at the sudden dismissal and walks off, a band of troopers following.

87 stops short in an empty corridor, there was no escaping Kylo when the man seemed to be able to sense him no matter where he was on the ship.

“What are you doing?” Kylo asks accusingly once he’s caught up with him.

“Walking?” He offers lamely.

Kylo is silent, even with the mask on, 87 can tell he’s in turmoil. His presence in the force is unsteady.

“Are you alright?” 87 asks. Kylo’s thoughts seem to stutter to a halt.

“What?” he demands.

“Did something happen?”

Kylo pauses for a moment, before he shakes his head.

“We’re leaving.” Kylo says it slowly, like he isn’t sure.

“Leaving?” he asks, “Where are we going?” 87 feels dread. He could almost feel his chance for escape slipping away.

“Escaping.” Kylo clarifies. “Me and you, we’re going to escape.”

“Escape?!” 87 gasps that was the last thing he expected Kylo to say.

“Yes.” Kylo snaps, annoyed “Listen to me closely…”

 

* * *

 

Poe’s head snaps up as his door opens, he half expects it to be the Knight again. Coming back to finish what he started. Instead, it’s a Stormtrooper.

“Kylo Ren needs the prisoner.” They say to the other trooper in the room. The trooper doesn’t even question it, they turn and release Poe without any objection. Poe has half a mind to try and escape right then and there, but in his current state he was sure that wasn’t possible. This new Stormtrooper, he could tell, was strong and capable.

The Stormtrooper leads him down a long empty corridor and is silent as they go. Suddenly the trooper pulls him into an empty storage room. Before Poe can even question it, the trooper removes their helmet. Revealing a dark-skinned man, he looks to Poe urgently, “This is a rescue.” He tells him.

Poe’s rattled mind can hardly keep up with this progression of events, and the relief  hits him so hard he sags slightly. The trooper holds his arm to keep him from completely collapsing to the floor, and he gives him a concerned look.

“Are you with the resistance?” Poe asks, and it’s too good to be true. He thought for certain no one would come for him, but he’d said this was a rescue.

“What?” The man asks in disbelief, “No! Listen, can you fly a transport?”

“A transport? Yeah, I can fly a transport. I can fly anything. Who are you?”

“FN-2187.” The man replies immediately.

“FN-what?” Poe really can’t keep up with any of this.

“It’s the only name they ever gave me. I’m a Stormtrooper. Or was one.”

“A Stormtrooper?” Poe steps back from him, “Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?”

The man’s face turns serious, “Because it’s the right thing to do.”

Poe laughs, relief filling him. Unbelievable, it was too unbelievable, but he’d said it so earnestly that Poe nearly believed it.

“The transport.” Poe shakes his head, “You need a pilot.”

“I need a pilot.” He admits.

“You said FN, right?” He bobs his head, “How about Finn? Can I call you Finn? Is that alright?”

The man blinks in surprise, “Finn?” Poe nods.

“Finn.” He says again like he’s trying it out, “Yeah, I like that.” He smiles widely, and Poe can see something akin to pure relief and happiness in his eyes as he says it.

Poe grins, “Well it’s nice to meet you, Finn. I’m Poe Dameron.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Poe.” His face sobers quickly, “We need to go. We have a transport to steal.”

Poe might just love this man.

 

* * *

 

The walk over to the transport is thankfully uneventful, though it seems Finn is feeling anxious. He even tells himself to remain calm. As soon as they board the ship, Finn releases Poe from his restraints. Poe turns to Finn smiling broadly. "Let's get out of here." 

He rushes to the pilot seat, quickly starting up the ship. "Keep a look out, Finn. We don’t know when they’ll begin to notice were trying to make a run for it.”

“We should be okay.” Finn assures him, “This ship is cleared for takeoff.”

“It is?” Poe asks, only briefly distracted as he quickly familiarizes himself with the controls. It was very different from his X-wing, but a ship was a ship so he could fly it.

“Just so you know, Finn, we need to go back to Jakku. I need to retrieve my droid."

"What?!” Finn exclaims in disbelief, “No, absolutely not. No droid is that important."

"This one is, it's a BB unit, orange and white. One of a kind.”

"A droid, huh?" A new voice asks.

Poe turns sharply towards the mechanical voice, and dread fills him when he sees Kylo appear, he’s in his full knight garb, mask in place. He reacts quickly, reaching for a blaster. He fully intends to shoot Kylo, but Finn jumps up stopping him.

"Poe, stop!” he yells, “He's helping us escape!"

"The hell he is!" Poe exclaims as he glares at Kylo.

“We don’t want to cause a commotion.” Kylo warns, as he steps further into the ship he removes his helmet, “They’ll get suspicious.”

“I see what’s going on.” Poe snarls, “You’re just trying to get the map. You’re not really helping us.”

“What map?” Finn asks, “We should get going. Can we argue while we’re on route to another star system?”

Kylo scowls at Poe, “You can’t presume to know anything.”

“Finn, don’t trust this man.” Poe tells him, “He’s only doing this for himself. He’ll turn on us as soon as he can.”

“You’re the one we should be wary of, you resistance scum have no loyalty.”

“Enough!” Finn shouts exasperated. “No one is betraying anyone! We can figure this map stuff out later, _after_ we’ve escaped. So can we please leave?” Finn practically begs.

“Fine.” Poe says, “But only because I trust you, Finn.” At least Kylo will be outnumbered once they’re off this blasted ship, Poe returns to the pilot chair. He won’t let his guard down though. He knows Kylo is up to something.

“Finn?” Kylo asks in confusion. 

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 is in the works! Hopefully should have it out soon.


End file.
